Girls Grows Up

 

So, we’re almost five seasons through the HBO series Girls, and I have to say I’m a fan. Color me super surprised.

When Girls premiered, I watched it with a great deal of trepidation. I was sure it was going to be a poor knockoff of Sex and the City (love!), except with a big dose of whiny, entitled Millennials. And to some extent, it is just that, as we watch 20-somethings Hannah, Marnie, Shoshanna and Jessa navigate post-college life and love in the Big Apple. But aside from four female leads against a backdrop of New York, the two shows really have little in common.

Girls is a much grittier, realistic look at life in the characters’ tumultuous twenties as they journey to self discovery, whereas SATC’s gals were clearly grown women, established in their careers and (for the most part) confident in who they were and what they wanted out of their relationships.

Girls also takes a lot more chances than SATC — not in its risque-ness (of which both shows have plenty), but in the creators’ steadfast refusal to create wholly likeable characters. Nowhere is that more on display than the lead Hannah Horvath, portrayed so bravely by Lena Dunham. Dunham doesn’t shy away from any part of Hannah – not her selfishness, or her self-absorption, or her – at times – inappropriate behavior. (Yes, that was our girl pulling a Sharon Stone – Basic Instinct to get out of a jam with her boss in a recent episode.) And yet ….

I can’t help rooting for her. Maybe it’s Hannah the writer who appeals to me (what would-be writer hasn’t felt, at one time another, what she voices in the series premiere as she tries to convince her parents to keep bankrolling her, “I think I’m the voice of my generation – or I’m a voice of a generation”). Or maybe it’s her vulnerability that hits me in the gut, like her struggle with OCD, her being dumped by boyfriend Adam for another woman, or her realization this season that sometimes she has to be the adult for her parents as Dad (Peter Scolari – remember him from Bosom Buddies and Newhart? So glad to see him again!) and Mom adjust to Dad coming out of the closet. Pretty much any time Dunham cries on camera, she’s got me  emotionally invested.

Or maybe, just maybe, I’m in Hannah’s corner because I see more of her in myself than I care to admit.  After all, we all at times have selfish tendencies and a desire to make everything about ourselves – we just don’t always act on them. And there’s slow but sure evidence that Hannah is learning to curb her worse character traits this season. Ok, sure, she did just break up with her boyfriend via text and then try to hide from him in a public restroom … perhaps not her most mature act to date. But at least she realized that she and Fran the drip were really poorly matched, and had the brains and the guts to put that relationship out of its misery. Hey, who ever said growing up was easy? It’s one step up, two steps back.

Unfortunately, where Girls falls short is its support characters – at least the female ones. Ironically, for a show supposedly about girls, it’s the boys that are a hell of a lot more enjoyable to watch. I cannot say enough about Adam Driver as Adam, the quirky, somewhat disturbing – but ultimately somehow heroic – on-again, off-again love interest. Adam’s progression has been the most pronounced over the years, evolving from Hannah’s kind of sleazy friend-with-benefits, to her knight in shining armor (Remember when he ran shirtless through the streets of New York to be by her side during her bad OCD episode? Bestill my beating heart.), to not-so-nice boyfriend who dumps her (although to be fair, it was Hannah who ran off to Iowa), to ex-boyfriend who’s now taken up with Hannah’s friend.

Adam’s often displayed questionable behavior. Believe me, there are many reasons to hate this character but for some reason I – and I suspect most viewers – just can’t bring ourselves to do it. Kudos to Driver for an extremely gutsy and brave performance – he’s not afraid to do anything on camera and like Dunham, he’s not afraid to portray all the good and all the bad, weird and ugly that makes Adam, well, Adam (Side note: So looking forward to Driver in Star Wars going forward – I was disappointed in some aspects of Episode 7, but Driver did a great job and I’ve got to think that big things await in the next two films). But on Girls, Adam’s also often been the most mature voice and nowhere has that been more on display than the last episode when he chides Jessa as she freaks out over baby spit-up: “You’re an adult; she’s a baby. Why do you need more help than a baby?”

Like Adam, the other non-girl Girls character, Alex Karpovsky’s Ray, is also often the voice of reason. As the more mature 30-something, Ray is kind of the grumpy old man on the show, but he’s a good counterbalance to the Millennials who surround him. And there’s also Elijah, Hannah’s hilarious gay ex-boyfriend who’s mostly been comedic relief up to this point, but whose storyline this season has been touching as he hopefully finds true love – but more likely heartbreak.

Unfortunately, the actual girls who make up Girls are a bit more one dimensional than Hannah, although reckless Jessa seems to be deepening through her relationship with Adam. It could very well be that Adam and Jessa are the pairing that lasts; they do seem to be a good match on many levels, but I still can’t help hoping for Adam and Hannah to somehow find their way back to each other. Meanwhile, it’s hard to drum up sympathy for shrill and judgmental Marnie -despite a strong showing in this season’s episode Panic in Central Park – and Shoshanna desperately deserves more screen time. Her character had great growth potential this season with her move to Japan, but thus far, with two more episodes to go, we just haven’t seen enough of her to know one way or the other.

As we count down to Girls’ end (next season is set to be the last), it feels right for the series to come to a close. And I wouldn’t be surprised if it ends with our girls going separate ways. Unlike SATC, and despite the series’ name, this show has never really been about the strength of female friendship. On the surface, maybe, but scratch just a little deeper and you’ll find that these women don’t really like each other all that much. Think about it: Could you ever imagine Hannah and company vowing to be each others’ soul mates, despite husbands, babies, etc., like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte did? Um, yeah, not so much.  But that’s ok, because that wasn’t what Dunham et al set out to do. Just like in real life, there are some relationships in your 20’s that fall away. Either way, I look forward to seeing our Girls become women and their story come to a close – wherever there paths may lead.

 

 

The Missed Opportunity of “Episode 7”

SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE NEWEST STAR WARS FILM AND SOMEHOW HAVE MANAGED TO AVOID ALL SPOILERS, STOP READING NOW! (And wow, if that’s the case, let me commend you. That’s nearly three months of avoiding every review, article, Tweet, meme, post, etc. about the biggest film of the past year, if not the past decade. That’s some serious self control. Anyway, on to the review ….) 

The biggest mistake Disney made in continuing the Star Wars saga wasn’t retreading familiar A New Hope territory. It wasn’t the heroine’s acquiring Force skills at light speed. It wasn’t the bigger, badder Death Star (aka, the nonsensical Starkiller). It wasn’t even killing off Han Solo (although that was wrong on so many levels).

Nope, Disney got it wrong at hello – the title. But not Force Awakens. Not that part of the title.

The real problem with the latest installment in the storied franchise is that it’s labeled “Episode 7.” That’s a rip-off for all the true SW fans out there.

You see, unlike passing fans of Star Wars, the Star Wars mega-fan hasn’t lost touch with the original trilogy storylines and characters for the last 30+ years. That’s because many mega-fans like me – typically in our 40s now — were in the real “sweet spot” of prime toy-buying age when the original trilogy premiered. The opportunity to play with an endless parade of action figures, ships, vehicles and so on etched those characters and that universe into my generation’s hearts forever, and most importantly it engendered our own storytelling. We didn’t just see Star Wars and love it; we saw it, played it, and fantasized new storylines. In short, we made it our own.

We super-fans can quote New Hope and Empire Strikes Back dialog verbatim, we spent endless hours from 1980 to 1983 debating who the “other” hope was, or whether Luke would try to turn his father back to the Light Side. We were disappointed at the Muppet-heavy Return of the Jedi, with its out-of-thin air plot twist of twins Luke and Leia, a de-masked Darth Vader that resembled Humpty Dumpty, and, at the top of the list, those god-awful Ewoks. Of course, we later learned what real disappointment was with Phantom Menace … but that’s a whole other essay.

For uber fans like me, Star Wars wasn’t out of sight, out of mind just because the movies ended. Oh sure, there was Star Wars silence for about 10 years after Return debuted. But the Heir to the Empire book series in the early ‘90s, followed by the re-release of the original trilogy, opened the floodgates for an Expanded Universe of video games, comic books and novels that continued the adventures of Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the droids far into the future. Real fans flocked to the EU, because for us these characters are like old friends – and ultimately, that’s what draws us to this universe. Yes, starships and alien planets are cool, and the mystical Force is fun, but when you get down to it, it’s the archetypal main characters who made us fall in love.

Unfortunately, though, while the new characters and actors (Ridley, Boyega, Driver) are fairly enjoyable, it’s the treatment of the old characters where Force Awakens falls flat. Primarily Han, who in the latest installment has regressed to his out-for-himself mercenary A New Hope ways. He’s lost his son to the Dark Side and the Millennium Falcon to some CGI character on Jakku; run away from wife Leia; and abandoned the New Republic/Rebellion/Resistance.

Remember our beloved Han, who raced into a Hoth blizzard to save Luke, despite the fact his Tauntaun was sure to freeze before the first marker (“Then I’ll see you in Hell!)? Who, even as early as the end of ANH, sullenly told Chewbacca he “knew what he was doing” while he collected his prize money, but returned to shoot Vader out of the sky? The scoundrel with a gruff exterior but  who on the inside, we just knew, had the heart of a hero? Yeah, that Han’s gone. In his place is a bitter, gruff old geezer who, when confronted with the possibility of a map to his vanished dear friend Luke, basically tells our new heroes he’ll take them to Maz and then, kids – well, you’re on your own.

Yes, Han does get some small redemption by reconciling with Leia, setting out to destroy the Death Star (uh, I mean, Starkiller) and confronting his son. But it’s all done at such breakneck speed that it leaves the fan unfulfilled.

And speaking of “vanished” Luke – his disappearance seems so out-of-character as to be insulting. Remember, this is the Luke who disobeyed Yoda and Obi-Wan by leaving Dagobah and going to save his friends. The one who refused to give up on his father, despite the counsel of his sage mentors (you know, those wise old Jedi who failed to see Palpatine/Sidious right in front of their eyes, and whose solution to the rise of Palpatine and Vader was to hang out on backwater planets and wait for some newborn babies to come of age and save the galaxy – yeah, those guys).

Some argue that Luke’s loss against Vader in ESB proves that he was wrong to dismiss Yoda’s advice, but I always thought this was proof of Luke’s progression beyond the old, failed ways. That he was destined to lead the way to a new – and better – Jedi order. A Jedi order that didn’t have to be monastic and disavow close relationships, but instead could recognize and draw real strength from friendship and even (gasp!) romantic love.

Instead, Force Awakens gives us a Luke who’s seemingly repeated the mistakes of the past, who’s failed to stop an apprentice from killing off the entire Jedi Order (again!), and whose answer, ala Yoda and Obi-Wan, is to run away and let the galaxy go to ruin. I read somewhere that JJ Abrams was convinced to direct Force Awakens because he was intrigued by the question “Who is Luke Skywalker?” Well, all I can say is that if this is who JJ thinks Luke is … Sir, I watched Luke Skywalker, I knew Luke Skywalker, I dreamed of Luke Skywalker. This, sir, is no Luke Skywalker.

Or rather, it’s a broken Luke after many years of pain. And that – as well as his sure-to-happen redemption and return to glory in the next two films – would all be well and good, if we weren’t getting cheated out of the 30 years of intervening story between ROTJ and FA. Which brings us back to Disney’s incomprehensible decision to call this Episode VII (I know, reader, it took me a while to get back to this point – thanks for your patience).
We as fans aren’t getting to see, at least on the big screen, the fruits of our heroes’ labors. We don’t see Luke reestablish the Jedi Order and rebuild the Jedi Temple; we don’t see Han and Leia enjoy some happiness as a couple and start a family, or Leia become a political leader; and we don’t see the Rebellion morph into the New Republic, with successes and growing pains alike. I think I could have swallowed the misery of FA if I had been able, just a little, to behold some small amount of happiness before the heartbreak set in – to see, once again, the trio reunited.

Some will say that ship has sailed, since Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford are all too old now. But that’s malarkey – a young Han Solo film is already in the works, and Abrams’ reboot of Star Trek has proven that it is possible to recast younger actors, even when the original performances were iconic.

If Disney had any foresight, it would have made Force Awakens Episode X – or even later – leaving plenty of room to tell those stories. They’ve announced plans for lots of standalone films focusing on side characters and I’m sure they’ll all be successful, but I maintain that nothing would pack fans in like the continuing saga of Luke, Leia and Han.
It may well be that there are lots of novels (now the official “canon), video games, comics, etc. in the works that are set to fill in the gaps post-ROTJ. Time will tell if that will fill the void. For now, though, “using up” Episode VII on Force Awakens feels like a real missed opportunity – for fans and Disney alike.

In Zootopia, Acceptance Out Trumps Fear

Disney’s latest animated film, Zootopia, is fine family entertainment but what makes it stand out in this election year is its uplifting presentation of an inclusive society where you can follow your dreams free of stereotypes and bias.

Zootopia may not offer as much adult humor as some other Disney offerings of years gone by, like Inside Out, Big Hero 6 and Aladdin (although I’m probably mostly remembering Robin Williams’ genie), but its heart is in the right place. Ginnifer Goodwin is lovable as the can’t-keep-a-good-bunny-down Judy Hopps, who refuses to give up her dream of being the first rabbit police officer. Jason Bateman — wait, can we talk a second about the awesome career of Bateman? Loved him from his first appearances as the wise-alecky friend on Silver Spoons, to his own short-lived sitcom It’s Your Move, through that long period where he seemed to have disappeared, to his reemergence in recent years as not only the everyman comedic lead, but also one with surprising depth (see: Bad Words, which he also directed) and perhaps even menace when the part calls for it (see also: The Gift). I heart you, Jason! But I digress…

As the fox Nick Wilde in Zootopia, Jason Bateman is the just-right combination of sly conman and reluctant hero, with a heart of gold hiding under some painful childhood memories. Together, Nick and Judy team up to solve a missing persons (um, make that otter) case in the land of Zootopia: an all-animal society where beasts of every breed live together in supposed harmony. Whether you’re predator or prey, in Zootopia you’re not restricted by biology. Small bunnies can be cops, and foxes don’t have to give in to their natural predisposition to eat bunnies. In the United States (er, I mean, Zootopia), you can be whatever you want when you grow up.

Except something is amiss in Zootopia land – animals of the predator class are mysteriously vanishing and turning “savage,” regressing to their predatory roots. Judy and Nick are on the case, along the way running into the sloths who run the Department of Motor Vehicles (if you’ve not seen this hysterical trailer, go watch it right now), a hilarious Godfather-esque family of moles, and a nod to Breaking Bad (ok, so maybe this movie does have some good adult humor for parents to enjoy).

What you’ll remember most, though, about this film is its overall message – that society is at its best when we accept one another, for all our differences and without prejudice.  That we need to overcome stereotypes and see beyond the color of skin (or in this case, the sharpness of claws and fangs). That you should not be defined by your nationality or race or religion, but instead, as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. famously said, by the content of your character. That just because you’re a bunny, you don’t have to be relegated to life as a carrot farmer – you can be whatever you dream.

As U2 frontman Bono once said, “America is not just a country but an idea, a great idea about opportunity for all and responsibility to your fellow man.” Has the United States achieved to perfection the idea of a utopian melting pot society, where immigrants can escape the confines of class and caste to make a better life? No, far from it; we have a history marred by slavery, income inequality is on the rise, and the ability to climb the economic ladder is still far too elusive for far too many Americans.

But in this election cycle, amid calls to “build a wall” and ban Muslims; to torture our enemies; to break up families with deportation; and to incite violence against protestors because, hey, that’s how things worked in the “good old days”; right now, in 2016, Zootopia is a wonderful reminder that the seeds for our own utopia – peace, love, understanding and acceptance- are within our grasp, if we don’t give in to hate and fear-mongering. America’s greatness lies not in its past, but in our steadfast belief and will to make our ideas reality. To quote from (and slightly paraphrase) U2 again, we’ve got to “dream up the world we want to live in; we’ve got to dream out loud.”

A More Mature Muppets Delivers Laughs, Heart

I can’t get rid of the smile on my face. Why? Because The Muppets season finale was so darn adorable.

I know, I know, I think I’m one of the few fans of the Muppets reboot. Following a creative ad campaign last summer, the show premiered to a lot of hype and build-up. But it seems viewers weren’t ready for a more mature Muppets gang – ratings steadily declined throughout the first half of the season.

It’s easy to understand why this new take on the Muppets may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Kermit and gang were never your average kids’ fare, of course – they always had a healthy dose of somewhat adult humor thrown in with the  zaniness. But the latest incarnation takes things one step further. These Muppets drink and go to bars after work; they crush on co-workers (who could have guessed Sam the Eagle had a thing for Surfer Girl Janice?); they even make subtle pot jokes. Heck, if this were on HBO, there’d probably be plenty more adult language and situations.

They also pull off some really funny dialogue, but you have to listen closely to catch all of it. (Miss Piggy’s assistant and confidante, Deadly, is particularly hilarious and the Swedish Chef rapping during a karaoke session? Priceless.) Saying the show employs a “sophisticated” humor may be overstating things, but viewers who were expecting sight gags and Crazy Harry blowing things up every episode were probably disappointed. (Ok, Crazy Harry did make an appearance in the season finale, but it was super-fast.)

To be sure, the show struggled a bit to find its identity, especially in the first half of the season. The “mockumentary” style, made so popular by The Office and Modern Family, didn’t work quite as well here. These are puppets, after all, with limited ability for the facial expressions and deadpan stares that worked so well for John Krasinski and company.

And in the first few episodes, the tone seemed a little, well, mean. Kermit, fresh off his break-up with Miss Piggy, appeared too harsh and jaded, while Miss Piggy, of course always a diva, came off as overly cartoonish and caricature-like. There were glimpses of the old Muppets heart (like the episode devoted to Kermit’s and Fozzie’s friendship), but the show took a while to find its footing.

A retooling and some production staffing changes during the winter break produced a re-energized second half of the season. Most importantly, the show’s heart was back and back in a big way. Miss Piggy, enlightened from her trip to Argentina to find herself and with the world’s cutest penguin in tow (seriously, it will make you want a pet penguin, or at least a pet penguin Muppet) became much more sympathetic and less the butt of jokes. Meanwhile, our Kermie returned to being more of the good guy/Jimmy Stewart hero that we all remember, as he slowly comes to the realization that he does, in fact, love Miss Piggy (well d’uh!).

The last batch of episodes also did a better job of balancing nostalgia with a fresh take. The new character Big Mean Carl (according to the Google, Carl apparently actually debuted several years ago but who knew — he’s new to me) continued to deliver jokes, while old fan favorites were better integrated into the show. The season finale gave nods to Rowlf and the Veterinarians Hospital skit from the original show, the “Ma na ma na” singers, and Dr. Bunsen HoneyDew and Beaker. Yes, the corny musical guest in each episode is a little awkward, but it is a Muppets staple so I’ll give it a pass.

Pepe the Prawn also shines in the season ender, as the captain of “Team Love,” the camp of Muppets in favor of a Kermit/Miss Piggy reunion (“I said ‘but love’!”). Will love win out in the end? Will our star-crossed lovers find their way back to each other? Will the Muppets even return next season? I’m not sure; the mid-season retool may not have been enough to boost ratings. Which is too bad, because I think these grown-up Muppets would have caught on if folks had given them a chance. But even if we’ve seen the last of Kermit and company on Tv for a while, it’s nice to know that they ended in a good place, with their funny bones and, most importantly, their heart well in tact.

Welcome to Plain Spoken Critic! First Up: The X-Files – I Wanted to Believe

I love watching TV and movies, and I love reading reviews of the things I’ve watched, to see how my views match up with others. Here’s what I don’t love, though: Wading through unintelligible, high-falootin’ critiques that make use of as many multi-syllable words as possible, to showcase the reviewer’s superior intellect and grasp of the English language. So this blog will be devoted to my down-to-earth takes on entertainment, delivered in what hopefully will be plain speak!

I’m kicking things off with thoughts on the recent revival of the X-Files. Let me start by saying I wanted to believe – I really did. You see, somehow, the X-Files mania skipped me over during its first run. Which is weird, because I’m as big a sucker as anyone for a conspiracy-themed show. Well, not necessarily conspiracy, but a show with a big, overarching plot that slowly unravels week after week, a large mystery revealed small bit by bit, with twists and turns that hopefully the viewer doesn’t see coming. I guess I’m always hoping that the writers have some ingenious story arc planned, that they have in fact planned out a beginning, middle and unbelievable ending that will leave my jaw on the floor and my heart in a flutter.

But more often than not, I’ve found that TV writers excel at beginnings but really suck at endings. Look no further than Lost (oh, I could write a book on the disappointment that was Lost, never mind a blog post)  or Battlestar Galactica (which still ranks up there as one of the best TV series ever, despite its lackluster finale) for proof. Yup, it seems TV writers are great with coming up with ideas and premises to kick things off, but because they likely never know whether their show will be picked up, canceled or extended, they never seem to have really thought beyond the first season or two. And if a show proves popular, they’ve got to exteeennnnd out the storyline, which never leads to anything good.

Anyway, for some reason I didn’t jump on the X-Files bandwagon back in the day. Somehow I overlooked Duchovny’s value as a hottie (Handsome and funny? That’s an irresistible combination as I saw so well in Californication, so now I’m pretty much a fan for life). And I couldn’t get past Gillian Anderson seeming like a drip in every scene that I happened to glimpse; I saw no chemistry between Mulder and Scully whatsoever. But the thing that really put the nail in the coffin for the show at the time, for me, was that it seemed to abandon the overarching conspiracy plotline on a dime and instead pivot to monster-of-the-week episodes with no connection whatsoever to aliens or the search for Fox’s sister.

Now, I can handle the occasional standalone episode; shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer (love!) did it quite successfully. As long as it furthers character development, or even sheds some small light on the larger conspiracy, all is well. So I decided to go all in on the X-Files reboot. The trailers promised to set the show’s original mythology on its head; plus, the original series ran for like nine or 10 seasons – a veritable gold mine for this TV junkie during the cold Massachusetts winter. Duchovny, aliens and hours of TV to catch up on? Sign me up!

Unfortunately, though, the X-Files revival – as well as the original series, it seems – didn’t give a whit about seeding a larger plotline slowly in each episode, building to a climactic finale. Which is a shame, because despite episode one’s cheesiness, I thought the framework was there for an interesting story: (SPOILER ALERT) Turns out the alien abductions Mulder’s been obsessed with all these years weren’t actual aliens, but instead the government using alien technology (gained from the infamous alien crash landing in Roswell in the ’50s) to steal away humans and perform dastardly experiments. And I enjoyed that our hero agents had lost their super seriousness of the ’90s – the dialogue this time around occasionally allowed them to poke fun at themselves. Like Scully, we can all acknowledge that our Fox is “batshit crazy” but still love him.

Sadly, it was downhill from the premiere. In typical X-Files fashion, Mulder and Scully once again proved to have the worst case of Attention Deficit Disorder ever, because after learning that HOLY CRAP, EVERYTHING WE THOUGHT ORIGINALLY WAS WRONG AND DANA HAS ALIEN DNA early on in episode one or two, their attention is diverted to the next bright shiny object – namely, evil scientists, were-monsters (admittedly, that was a great episode thanks to the guest turn by Rhys Darby, from Flight of the Conchords – love that guy) and terrorists.

By the last episode of this mini-revival, our heroes turn back to the main plot at hand, but for me, by then it was too late. It’s laughable to try and cram into the 60-minute finale a pandemic whereby the world’s inhabitants, their immune systems having been compromised for years by a shadowy group of villains through the smallpox vaccine, are now being laid waste by some “Spartan virus” that’s been unleashed by said villains. Everyone except a few elite members of society (anyone who’s been injected with alien DNA) will perish.

In record time, pandemonium breaks out, but luckily Scully and new character Agent Einstein (yes, you heard that right – “Einstein” …. Lauren Ambrose of Six Feet Under fame does the best she can here but there’s only so much a gal can do with such painful dialogue) concoct a vaccine based on Scully’s alien DNA. Scully rushes to save a dying Mulder, who’s been rescued from his anti-climactic showdown with Cigarette Smoking Man, but upon seeing Fox’s desperate state, she pronounces the vaccine won’t be enough (Um, isn’t the vaccine brand new? How does Scully know how any patient will respond?). In any event, Mulder will need stem cells from, you guessed it, their long-lost son, William, whom they gave up years ago and whom I and every other viewer on the planet had assumed would play a larger role in the show, considering mom Dana spent a considerable amount of time confessing her guilt over giving him up.

But nope, we don’t have time for any of that, since approximately three and a half episodes of this six-episode arc were devoted to one-off nonsense. So instead, series creator Chris Carter does what he does best – he teases the audience with a big cliffhanger, as an “alien spaceship” (or evil government using alien technology?) arrives to hover menacingly over our heroes. All that would be well and good, if I had any rational hope that Carter and company would offer up some kind of resolution when the series inevitably returns (oh, you know it will – money talks).  But I know the truth – which is, the truth may indeed be “out there” as the show claims, but damned if Carter’s going to give it to you in any satisfying fashion, because he’s all about the tease, not the payoff. Sorry, but that’s just not enough for me as a viewer. You can string me along for a while (who doesn’t love foreplay?) but ultimately you’ve got to put up or shut up.

We’ll see how desperate I am for television viewing come next year or whenever this show returns … If they can offer some rapid plot progression or real answers in the first episode, I might stick around. But if it’s more of the same – a tease of some resolution, followed by the equivalent of someone shouting “Squirrel!” to distract Scully and Mulder so they’ll go hunt down a vampire or some other nonsensical episode – then I’m out … Duchovny’s hotness be damned.

What did you think, X-Files fans? Am I right on target? Way off base? Let me know!